The Prayer That Changed Everything: How Connecting With My Ancestors Was My Spiritual ‘Gateway Drug’
When people ask me how my spiritual journey began, I often point to one psychic reading that blew it all open for me.
But the truth is, something was brewing almost a year beforehand. This is the story of the seed that eventually blossomed into my spiritual awakening.
A Dark Night of the Soul
It was late 2021 and I had just become a mom to my second daughter, Mina. We had a turbulent start: traumatic labor (hemorrhage), feeding struggles, and infant allergies. I was run ragged, trying to figure out how to keep this baby healthy, and I was at a low point — anxious, hopeless, and desperate for help.
I can see now that I was in my Dark Night of the Soul—that place where old certainties collapse and you’re left raw, searching, and broken open.
In this despair I did something I had never done before. I reached out to my ancestors.
Calling Out to My Ancestors
While attempting another long, painful breastfeed, I called out in my mind:
“Bubbe Marilyn, Bubbe Sarah, please send me a lifeline. I’m sure you had a child that was sick at some point, you know how terrible this is. Please help us!”
I was considering looking for donor milk as a next step in our feeding journey. But I suspected infant allergies, and finding someone who both had milk to spare and avoided common allergens? That seemed like a needle in a haystack.
After crying out for help, I posted on a Facebook group for human milk donation, without any hope or expectation.
A Sign From Spirit
I woke up the next morning to a message from someone in the group.
“Do you know Jared Goldwasser?”
Miraculously, an old college friend of my husband’s who lived an hour south of us had reached out. She had extra milk, and avoided all the same allergens I was.
I won’t say the feeding issues were solved overnight — they ended up being complex. But that day, I knew deep in my bones that we were not alone on this journey.
The Gateway to Spiritual Awakening
That moment was my spirituality gateway drug. It cracked the door to something I couldn’t ignore.
I became absolutely fascinated with the idea that life survived beyond death. I binged Life After Death with Tyler Henry on Netflix. Not your typical post-natal content! (As an aside, Surviving Death is a great show, if you’re new to this topic!)
And yet, as my curiosity was ablaze, I wrestled with shame. I toyed with the idea of seeing a professional medium. Was I crazy for even entertaining these ideas?
Thankfully, my therapist encouraged me to give myself permission to just entertain the idea. And years later, those small seeds bore fruit in ways I never expected.
Have you ever had a sign from Spirit or felt the presence of a loved one who has passed? I’d love for you to comment below and join my email list where I share more stories, insights, and reflections about connecting with ancestors, signs from Spirit, and the Akashic Records.
Messages From My Ancestors
Fast forward to 2023.
During my Akashic Records training, a fellow student (who was also a medium) stopped mid-reading to say:
“Someone is here for you…”
She went on to describe my maternal grandparents in uncanny detail, down to the smell of matzo ball soup on Friday nights—our family’s Shabbat ritual. She passed messages that could only have been meant for me and my family.
I was elated. Astounded. But there was more.
The next day, in a Reiki session, the practitioner let me know there had been a message for me during my treatment. I didn’t even sign up for this, but yes—I wanted to hear more! She slowly, deliberately shared:
“It’s a grandfather. Dad’s dad. A businessman, he is in a suit.”
Jaw almost on the ground, I confirmed. Yes, this was my Zayde Mark! He was a successful businessman who always dressed to impress.
His message was unforgettable. He told me I could walk this spiritual path and still have goals—that my logical, structured self was not in conflict with awakening, but part of it. It was exactly what I needed to hear, and gave me the courage to plow on.
From Ancestors to the Akashic Records
After all those initial curiosities and doubts, I had two back-to-back experiences that gave me the undeniable personal proof I needed. I now knew that our souls go on after our bodies depart.
And in my Akashic Record Readings, I sometimes get the opportunity to be that bridge to loved ones on the other side:
It wasn’t in my plans, but I found out early that if a client asks about a departed loved one during their reading, they often show up with a message of guidance or support. It humbles me every time.
When Despair Opens the Door
Connecting with departed spirits in those early, desperate days was the seed. The Akashic Records became the tree.
I can see now that the hopelessness I felt wasn’t a detour. It was the doorway. Because when we are cracked open by despair, we become more willing to reach for connection. And in that reaching, we discover the truth: we are never truly alone.
The Records have shown me, again and again, that love continues beyond this life. That our ancestors, guides, and loved ones walk beside us. And that our darkest nights, as unbearable as they feel, often become the doorway into the most profound light.